Saturday, April 18, 2020

We are living in times such as our generation has never before seen. The entire world is being impacted by Covid19, fear and madness.

I have yet to figure out which is worse, the fear that people are living in or the reality that one could die of Covid19. I am not afraid of death. I am not afraid of loss. But goodness, going to the grocery store makes me feel afraid for our world. People are being driven by fear...

People are afraid fo dying, they are afraid of losing their money, they are afraid of losing their business, they are afraid of losing loved ones, they are afraid of what Covid19 can do... going into the grocery store one can feel the anxiety and the fear. This week I chose to run out for some more food. Everyone was wearing masks, the cashiers had to wipe down counters, they wore gloves, people are expected to stay 6 ft apart.  No one made eye contact, no one smiled, everyone walked in this self protective fear mode.  I decided to spread some cheer. IT was shocking how few people actually smiled back when you smiled at them.

WE are quarantined at home.. tho its hard to tell how quarantined we are.. because David still works 4-5 afternoons a week, Elizabeth works one afternoon a week, I run out for groceries every 2 weeks, and I made a run to the greenhouse and several to the bank/pharmacy. I am keeping the little ones home as much as possible. Yesterday Bubbie asked if he could go to the grocery store... just to see all the food. lol He misses going shopping with me. But he is my immune compromised child so I had to say no.

Schools are closed for the year. Nesiah is getting stuff via an ipad and google classroom. Bubbie was doing all his school work at home under direction from his teacher. I chose to pull him and homeschool him. I am just not good with the school at home thing.  I prefer homeschooling "my way" which really involves eliminating all the busy work, moving quickly from one concept to the next and wrapping up this school year in short order!  So I am homeschooling him.... this was not an easy decision and came with lots of prayer, wrestling and some tears. But God is faithful and we know he is in this with me.

The three little ones are thriving in the midst of this quarantine. They love being home, actually all the kids do. We have had very few behavior issues int he past 6 weeks. Everyone loves having having the whole family home. Baby girl is growing quickly and thinks all the big kids being home means they are here to dote on her.  Bubbie loves the freedom of being home, of having a less stressed mom and of being able to play outside for hours.

While our time at home has been good. While our finances are not directly impacted by the crisis, our hearts hurt for those around us who are struggling. The children who do not thrive at being home 24/7. The fathers who wish they could go to work but are not allowed.  Our world will never be the same.

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Holy Spirit Moments

This morning we attended church. It was a bit more hectic than normal. Usually, I have a friend that helps with Bubbie or the boys manage him. Today neither my helper or my boys were available.  So I had Mr. Wiggly ADHD, along with baby girl who needed a nap and Nesiah who wasn't very happy about church. When baby girl started fussing, I snuck out with her. 
 I slipped into the quiet of the nursery. Someone had put in a couch and rearranged the room. It was a very inviting spot. I dimmed the lights and sat down to rock baby girl.  It took less than 5 minutes for her to fall asleep.  Snuggling her in my arms, rocking softly back and forth, breathing in the quiet of the room, I felt this supernatural peace. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. IT was so real that the tears squeezed out of the corners of my eyes, dripping down on baby girl.
  For weeks I have rushed. I have kept on top of everything, processing the adoption paperwork, parenting the kids, making Christmas special, dealing with some paperwork headaches, and just so much... not anything major, no real big problems. Just lots of small things.. with never a minute to breath. I needed a minute away to pray, to think, to breath.
 Today I sat in that little room and I breathed, I rested, I felt the Holy Spirit minister to me. I felt His love for me. I felt my heart and soul fill with His Presence and His peace.
  I looked around for a way to lock the doors.. but there was none. I was really tempted to cry buckets and then take a nap on the couch. But I knew my teenagers would die of embarrassment, so I enjoyed my moment, I cried my tears and then I took a deep breath and moved on, filled up.

Saturday, January 4, 2020

The Beginning of a New Decade

    2020 the beginning of a new decade. I love to look back and see where life has taken me. Living the life I do, things often change drastically.  20 years ago, I was 16, 10 years ago I was 26, now I am 36. I have lived a lot of life in the past 20 years.

My top ten highlights from the last 10 years.
  1. In 2010 I adopted David and Fayth.  Nesiah came to live with us. I started homeschooling the kids.

  2. In 2011 I adopted Nesiah, Lee, and Elizabeth.  We also moved to our current home that year.  we purchased our first animals, chickens, and a mini horse.
 3. In 2012,  We added a milk cow to our little farmette. I think we may have had sheep too. It was our first year as a family with no new family members and no adoptions.

 4. 2013, Bubbie was born and came to live with us. We got rid of the cow and bought some sheep. I was still homeschooling.

5. 2014, We were in the midst of hard hard. Bubbie was sick and colicky, sleep was nonexistent, and medical appointments far too frequent. We got a crash course on allergies and asthma.  We also had extensive and frustrating foster care drama. It was a hard hard year.

6. 2015, We adopted Bubbie, only by a miracle.  His health started improving. We added goats and 2 old horses to the farm. I also started homeschooling Nesiah that year.

7. 2016,  We took a week-long vacation to Cape Cod thanks to a generous friend.  We added bunnies, dogs, and sheep to our menagerie. Maybe even a steer that year?

8, 2017 The year we spend repairing our health. I had horrific Lyme disease and adrenal fatigue. I made the decision to take care of my health that year. 5 out of 6 kids also had Lyme disease! We battled and won that fight. We found a church we plugged into. My boys became teenagers and the 3 oldest kids got part-time jobs, opened savings accounts and started budgeting. 

9, 2018 The year we really started thriving again. Bubbie started attending a private school. I started working as a parent trainer for the local children and youth agency.  This is the year all 4 of my big kids were teenagers.  I had my own babysitters and mother's helpers. BEST OF ALL, baby girl came to live with us 5 days before Christmas. We added a couple steers, several goats and another dog to the menagerie.  I made a big garden in part of my pasture.

10. 2019,  I quit my job. Bubbie attended his private school for first grade.  Nesiah went back to public school. This all happened over summer as I recognized that I needed to take steps to prevent burnout. The older 3 kids all had steady jobs over the summer with families from church.  I raised a large garden and canned a ton of food. 

So in ten years, I adopted 6 kids with another adoption coming up really soon.  I had two babies dropped into my lap while I was NOT a licensed foster parent. I homeschooled 4 kids from 1st to high school. I had my first kid go into private school. I moved to a farmette and obtained animals, raising as much of our own milk, eggs, and meat as possible. I started a garden from scratch, raising as much of our own food as possible. I started working as a parent trainer for cys and then quit when I got a baby.