Saturday, May 27, 2017

When God is Your Daddy,..

Fayth is my girly girl. My sweet girl that is often left behind because she does not like animals. She is not a tomboy like her older sister and her momma. She enjoys girly things, pink, frilly, fancy things..

Fayth is also my sweet girl. She often helps me care for Nesiah. She has a special relationship with Nesiah and makes many sacrifices to help care for Nesiah.

Fayth loves to play dolls and had this special 18" doll, named Taryn. She loved Taryn and took her everywhere with her.  So when we came home from our trip to the bay and Taryn was missing. I was not too worried. She would show up. Fayth did not fuss much, but every couple days she would comment again about Taryn being missing.

Finally about 2 weeks after our vacation, it registered in my mom brain that this doll was really missing. She was not just hiding. So Fayth and I started discussing what our options were. Fayth decided to buy a new doll with her babysitting money.

We had some discussion about buying a brown doll vs a white doll. I usually buy her brown dolls, but all her friends have white dolls.... This led to an interesting discussion on fb regarding which doll she should buy..

This is where the story takes a turn..

A friend fo mine on FB, ironically name Faythe, messaged me that she would like to buy Fayth both a  white doll and a brown doll. My first reaction was to refuse, telling her that Journi could buy a doll with her babysititng money and I would buy another one for her birthday. But I felt like God was prompting me to accept. That quiet voice in my heart said "Let me show her my love. Let her know that God is a daddy that cares."

So my friend Faythe and I had discussion on what dolls to get Journi. At the end Faythe shared that she felt that God wanted my Fayth to know that He is a Heavenly Father that cares and He loves her. It was an incredible moment to share with her that God had told em the same thing!

Meanwhile a friend had offered to sell Fayth a doll at a very discounted price. Fayth was so excited to get this used doll with her babysitting money. She felt like this doll was an answer to her prayers. This doll had thick brown hair and pretty light tan skin.

Several days later, a package arrived from Target. I told Fayth they were for her and she could open it...Inside were 2 beautiful dolls. One white. One black. She could hardly believe her eyes when she saw her two new dolls.

I told her that these dolls were a gift from God, that a friend she does not even know listened to God's promptings and obeyed. She is a loved daughter of the King.

It took her  a couple days to fully grasp the magnitude of this. Of God's great love for Her. That just like an earthly daddy might buy his daughter a gift, her Heavenly Father was sending her a special gift.

She came to me and asked me if God really cares about dolls, cause He is a man and men don't care about dolls... It was my pleasure to explain again that God cares about the things that are important to us. Even dolls.

The best part is that God has blessed her abundantly above what she could ever imagine. She now had 3 dolls, 2 brand new dolls, and one used doll. She kindly without hesitation gave her used doll to her sister who only had one doll.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Another God story..

Because God cares about every detail of your life.. So Nesiah's insurance will no longer pay for her prepared food, Real Food Blends. I loved them and they made my life so easy. The cost out of pocket is approx $400 a month, so I am not able to fit that into my budget. Meanwhile I have been blending table food for her. She struggles to maintain her weight so she needs large volumes of food, which I blend in large batches twice a week in my amazing Blend tec. She eats as much as my other girls do. She is also dairy, gluten and rice free.So it takes a lot of food. In addition we carefully monitor her labs so I have to make sure her meals are balanced enough that she gets all the nutrition she needs. We have a vacation coming up, plus busy summer days of picnics, lunch at the pool and outings with friends. I was praying how to handle this. I really did not want to drag the Blend tech with us on our vacations, mostly because I was afraid that it would break. My options were to make blends at home, water bath can them or freeze them so we could take them along safely.
Meanwhile God has it all under control.. Yesterday I ran to the discount grocery store for groceries. They had a whole bunch of organic, gluten free single serving soups for $.99 a box. They were dairy, gluten and rice free! They were soft meltable texture so they don't even need blending. Basically heat and go.. Not a complete meal, but add in some homemade yogurt, some cheap carrot juice and she has a balanced meal! But.. best of all, where God answers prayers in ways you don't think about.. Today a friend dropped off 2 small nutri bullet style blenders. They are single serving blenders. Small enough to toss into a bag and take with us, when we go out with friends. Small enough to easily pack up for a vacation. The perfect size to blend up an individual meal in minutes. Now, it had never even crossed my mind to buy one of these, yet God provided the perfect solution for us! I can actually stick one in the van and leave it there, so if we get a last minute meal invitation I can just pull it out to blend on the go.
Bonus points: Bubbie loves his smoothies. The blend tec is better suited for large portions (which is exactly what I need for the big kids). But this nutri bullet type blender allows me to make quick, small smoothies for Bubbie too. I just love how God uses various people in our lives to bring His blessings to us. I want to be mindful of the promptings, the soft whispers of his voice that led me to help others. I want to be a dispenser of His grace and blessings, as I am filled up, I pour out on those around me.

Sunday, May 21, 2017


We are continuing to see God's Hand on our lives. The journey has been hard but so worth it. We have overcome some pretty big obstacles and God continues to Renew our lives. He continues to grow us.

I look back about 9 months, I see a time of desperation. A time of struggle. I never want to forget that God is in the valleys and on the mountain tops.

In Oct 2016, I cried out to God. I was concerned. We needed community. We needed emotional, physical and financial support. I am quite proud of being totally self sufficient. But I realized that I needed a community, I needed more than what I had. I couldn't do it alone.

First of all, my dear friend who has always been my rock, my support, my listening ear, one who ahs never abandoned us, no matter the choices I have made.. No matter that we do life differently.. that friend insisted that I seek some medical attention for my pain.

Answered Prayer #1. I started seeing a holistic chiropractor. MY very first visit it was clear that God can use anyone anywhere.. I had an incredible divine appointment and this Chiropractor has been used by God to totally change my life,  both physically and emotionally. I have regained so much health, so much of my personality. I praise God every day for this.

Answered Prayer # 2. We made some new friends. As my health improved I made efforts to connect with various people. I prayed specifically for friends for my girls and for friends  for myself,  friend who have teens. I have connected with 2 very different groups of people who meet those needs. We actually have a very active social life again. (active for us, who are introverts. )

Answered prayer #3 Out of the blue, randomly but totally God ordained, people from my past, from my time as a young bride with a sick husband.. those people who I have had little to no contact with for 10 or so years... those people started contacting me, telling me they felt led to give.. family members too, for the first time.. we received food,a blender, money, getaways, more food, a used fridge.. It was truly shocking to me. God was telling me, no matter where  I go. No matter what I do,He has got me in the palm of His hand. He cares and he can use anyone.. He doesn't need me to plan out every moment of my life, but He does need dme to simply obey and wait on Him.

Answered Prayer #4 We found a church. For the past 3 years, we had done home church. It was just easier. It was to hard top juggle the kids, Nesiah and Bubbie were so disruptive that I rarely enjoyed a message. Every once in a while when the guilt of not taking my kids to church would overwhelm me.. or when I had a really good week healthwise, we would visit churches.. but the kids hated it...
Finally, as my health improved, and my energy improved I felt like God was nudging me to step out in faith. My children were very resistant at first, they loved homechurch.. So in order to motivate them and myself, I promised them that every time we went to church, I would buy them pizza. Now they love pizza and it is a rare treat.. Suddenly my children were highly motivated to go to church. (Don't judge me. I am only human!)
We connected with a local church. We found it to be perfect for what we need right now. we made connections and doors opened.. We are now plugged in again. We have a church home. This has been a 3 year long journey, of healing and growing. (and no I don't buy the kids pizza anymore. They like church now)

Answered Prayer #4 I was invited to join an adoptive mom's support group. A group of mommas deep in the trenches of strong and hard parenting. It has been such an encouragement for me.

Answered Prayer #5 In my pursuit for health, dealing with the fact that 2 of my children have pretty aggressive lyme disease, Nesiah is having a lot of seizure activity and switching to homemade foods vs commercial formula, dealing with my own lyme (and other health issues), dealing with my son who is prediabetic and all the food allergies and asthma issues we have dealt with.. I have decided to use all the knowledge I have gained over the years and put it to good use. I am working on getting certified as a natural health consultant. I hope to educate people on the use of whole foods, herbs and other holistic methods of getting healthy and staying healthy.  While helping stabilize my financial situation.

We have found community. We have connected to so many different groups of people, our homeschooled friends, our adoption group friends and  our church friends. We are babysitting/doing respite alot which allows us to reach out and serve others. We spend a lot of time praying for the burdens that so many of our friends carry. Because being plugged in, is not just about taking.... it is about giving, continuing the cycle of being the hands and feet of Jesus.