Expectations

Through my life, as a widow, as a foster parent, as a sister, daughter and mother, I have learned that having expectations of others can lead to disappointment.

When my son is expecting to go kayaking  during free time and I am expecting him to rest, one of us will have unmet expectations.

When I am expecting my child to be healthy and he instead struggles all week...

When I expect my child to obey and she is disrespectful....

When I am expecting the most relaxing week of the year and instead it becomes one of the most stressful.

When I have expectations of my family, of my kids, and of my friends...

A long time ago I learned that life is much better if you have no expectations of other people. No one else is responsible for your happiness. People do let you  down.

I had high expectations for this week. I struggled to let go of those expectations. I struggled with so many aspects of this week. But reality is reality. I need to come to a place of acceptance.

 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. phil 4:11-13

I wrote the above on a day when I was working through the many things of this week.  Looking back over the week, I have come to a conclusion. God needs us to do his work, not on our time table, not just following our own desires but His.  He is more worried about our eternal then our present.  Sometimes this requires us to give up and give in.

I also learned that if we give what little we have to give, willingly or unwillingly. :) God can take that and use it for his purpose.

Day 3, a dinner, a dance and movie

Night number 2 was pretty easy compared to night #1. I was up from 1:30 to 3 tending to kids, then up at 5:30 because Nesiah was awake and singing. I did not want her to wake the other kids, so she and I got up, dressed quietly before sneaking out the door. We got some coffee in the main lodge then came back to walk the circle by our older lodge. It was a refreshing morning. 

The other kids were soon up and dressed, gone are the days of even wishing to sleep in.

We headed over to the main lodge once everyone was dressed.  I had planned to sit and hang with my kids who had been running full force the day before. Instead I had a long chat with the lady who had come to do massages. She is also a single parent and a new believer. 

While she and I chatted, the kids played checkers..

Day 3 is a bit of a  blur. It was not a good day. The kids had their regular programming. I got my hair cut on The Porch. 

I had a beautiful picture of The Porch, where wonderful things like massages, manicures and facials happen.

We had an adult only dinner planned for that evening. It was a delightful evening of fellowship. We had a formal dinner and I did not get a single picture!! This was probably the first time in over a year that I had a dinner out without kids. (the kids were right next door in the main cafeteria)

The tables were set beautifully and everyone was dressed beautifully.

David had fun playing basketball with T. This kid really made David's week wonderful!

After dinner there was dancing.. oh what fun for the kids!

Pictures do not do it justice.. It was so much fun to watch.

After the dance, they had an outdoor movie, finding Nemo. This is one of the kids favorite activities. I was extremely tired, so I put the littles to bed and stayed with them until the big kids were done with the movie. I was thankful for good helpers with my kids!

Day 2

Day 2 started out at 4:30 am, with an asthmatic reaction to the new furniture, carpet and paint in the beautiful new lodge. I ended up sitting outside on the beautiful porch, chatting with C. The wonderful angel that God placed in my morning.  I chose to stay outside from 4:30 to 7:30 to keep my 2 littles breathing calmly. We chatted and had coffee. It was a beautiful morning to watch the sunrise over the mountain.


After breakfast I sat on the 4th floor balcony and had a long chat with my heavenly Father... I needed some encouragement and refreshment. 

The kids had their day camp style programing after which they met us for lunch.

Everyone was breathing much better. But I had asked that they move us to the other older building. I did not want a repeat of the night before. So we moved...

From this ^^ beautiful 2 room suite to

^^ this one room lodge bedroom.

The funny thing is, the kids did not complain. They all agreed this was "more like camp". It was def more cramped, not nearly as clean and nice as the first camp, but everyone could breath!

We had a fun afternoon swimming during family time. It was fun to see so many families hanging out. There were a lot more families of 4-5 kids then we had seen last year. The kids groups were quite large. My kids were delighted to have so many new friends!

After dinner it was power swing time! My boys had been so excited for this! They had talked for weeks about doing the swing! Sadly I was changing diapers in the bathroom when it was finally their turn to swing. I missed most of it. sigh.

Our Favorite Family Vacation day 1

`What it's all about: 

At both U.S. and International Family Retreats, special-needs families receive encouragement and care in the comfort of a safe and accessible family camp environment. They enjoy fun and fully-accessible, age-appropriate activities, along with meaningful conversations with families who understand the challenges of life with disability.


 How it works:
The retreat offers a change of pace where you can have fun together in a safe and accepting environment. You'll be able to get away and enjoy God's creation…you'll meet and fellowship with others who face similar concerns…you'll build lasting memories together as a family…as well as a renewed hope in God. While each camp or conference center has its own unique facilities, every Family Retreat is packed with exciting adventures for the whole family. Several sites have amenities such as climbing walls and ropes courses, boating, hiking trails, mud pits, and a host of other activities to energize the week.

Family Retreat STMs (short term missionaries) must be at least 17 years old. They are committed Christians with a desire to serve families affected by disability. They are flexible team players who are able to offer friendship, support, and general assistance to help families get the most out of their week. STMs must be able to serve the entire length of the retreat and attend training prior to the retreat.

Last year was our first time at this wonderful camp. We were teamed up with Mrs. S and her 4 kids. It is a good  match for our family.

Time for the kids to catch up while I was organizing the rooms. 

My kids and our STM's. 

The Tshirt of the year!  In case you couldn't tell the theme for this year is "hope overflowing".

We took a tour of the new and very beautiful building!

I am hoping to find some time to sit on this balcony with my book and a cup of coffee...

We have two adjoining rooms, a total of 3 twin and 2 queen beds.

 We also have 2 bathrooms, one fully handicapped accessible and one smaller one. So awesome with my big crew!

The non accessible bedroom...

The plaque on the wall, that I noticed after a rather traumatic evening. 

We felt so loved....

Opening ceremony.

We toured the rooms where the kids will be doing programs each day. Lee and his friend T are KAOS.

They are in a class with Mr. and Mrs. H. 

The rest of my crew is in the Captain's group.

 This should be a fun group!

Playing on the playground... the girls loved spinning on the tire swing.

Finished up the evening with a ride on Mr. H's wheelchair...

 We arrived around 3 pm. We were warmly welcomed. Reconnected with the S family... then did a quick tour of the building and the kids class areas.

The kids really wanted to play in the  yard where they had all kinds of fun sensory items set up.  So we stopped for a moment to play. I always feel extremely frazzled on the first day. Despite doing everything possible to make it calm and smooth, I was not really successful.

we regrouped as a family before dinner and I was able to do some unpacking and calming of children...

Dinner was delicious as usual. But the best part is always that fact that I didn't cook it or clean up after!

My 2 youngest get very over stimulated in the loud dining room so it is def not a relaxing experience. lol

After regrouping again,  we headed out for the opening ceremonies. Love their praise and worship music and encouragement.  Following the opening ceremony we had an ice cream social. This is always fun.

My favorite part of the day is the encouraging chats with fellow parents in the trenches.  I also love that no one stares, no one has a problem with Nesiah's noises. It makes for a very relaxing day. 

packing

So packing with the new method... I did not like the mess and time involved with packing this way. It took twice as much time and energy.  Also it made for more battles with my one child who did not like having preselected clothing and some of my other children who are very picky what is theirs and what is not, even if it is the same style color.

First I made piles on the bed for each child. Then I sorted each day's outfit and put that outfit in a pillowcase. It was def more time consuming then my normal method of having them pack their own bags. 

 

I labeled each pillowcase with the day and then packed one extra case with extra pants. 

The final bags,  2 duffels with 4 pillowcases filled with outfits, plus the green bag with my clothes and the pink bag with towels and swimsuits.

So the final opinion will come in at the end of the week! Is this better then the previous method? How do you pack? 

Unexpected Field Trips

When our trip to the chocolate factory did not go so well, we decided to explore some more! We headed to the Pretzel Factory.  We had to walk about 2 blocks to get to the pretzel factory. I was not sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. They had pretzel samples and for $14, my entire crew could do the tour and make soft pretzels!

It was rather humid in the factory, the two little ones were tired and hot.

I stood in the back with the little ones and let the older 4 participate. They made soft pretzels. The lady doing the tour was excellent. The history of the pretzel was fascinating. Did you know that pretzels were made by monks? Let's see what I rememeber..

1. The three holes represent the Holy Trinity.
2. The Twist somehow represents marriage
3. The pretzel upside down represents prayer.
There was more but I forget...

The rest of the tour was a disaster for me. The older kids did enjoy it and learned a lot! It was a neat experience.

We left the pretzel place and wandered back to the van. The kids had fun checking out the window displays. The theme was "The Wizard of OZ" and "Red, White and Blue".

Lititz really is cool. But it is also very touristy, I prefer the more "real" experiences.

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Friday Encouragement

The kids and I have decided this will be our theme song for this season of our lives.  We are in a battle at the moment. We are excited to see God work. We are working on trusting God in this journey.
Foster care is hard. It is even harder when you have 5 little people who have suffered much loss and you really just want to protect them.
But we are working on using this time as a lesson on God's faithfulness. A time in learning about God's presence in the storm.
God is faithful. He is good. No matter what. 

Field trip to America's Coolest Small Town..

The weather has been humid and dreary here. No school and a summer schedule that involves 2 hours of structured activity is great, if the sun is shining. However one these chilly days we need to find some sort of entertainment to keep everyone from killing each other..

So we packed up and took a field trip to The Wilbur Chocolate Factory.
I wasn't sure what to expect but certainly not what we found. lol

 
Two ladies working behind the wall was the only interesting aspect of the tour.
The place was packed and not at all handicapped accessible. 

 
So funny story:  We had been wandering around trying to see everything. I noticed this chocolate lotion off to the side, I thought oh, cool the kids will like this!!

I announced, GUYS CHECK THIS OUT, YOU CAN TRY IT! Immediately David jumped in, "me,me I want to try it." I was trying to keep tabs on everyone and  absently mindedly said "It's whip cream" (meaning its a whipped lotion) and squirted it into David's hand. He immediately LICKED IT OFF HIS HAND!! I grabbed his hand from his mouth and hissed "DON"T EAT THAT, IT'S LOTION!" I was horrified... we were already drawing attention with our not so little entourage.
The other kids all jumped to his defense. Apparently if you say "Try it" in a chocolate factory it is very likely your child will eat lotion! We burst into giggles which drew more attention to us, much to the horror of my boys. 

 So we quickly paid for our gold coins and headed out the door. That was one field trip we won't repeat! lol

                                                  

This is the outdoor elevator, and the only access to the chocolate factory. I was not impressed. They had a call button that we could push for assistance while we we were outside. No one came to answer the bell, I didn't trust leaving the kids outside alone while I went inside for assistance. So the boys and I hauled the wheelchair and the stroller up the stairs.  We did use it when we left. I think it is sad that some of these places are not more accessible.  The stress of accessing the building took all the fun out if for us.

There was all kinds of old cooking items...

Nesiah did enjoy the video on how chocolate is made.

There was chocolates of every kind and style...

 This town has some rich history. We had fun touring an old caboose and the old train station. My kids are into living history right now. Laura Ingalls Wilder books etc... so this little history tour was a fun surprise for us. We saw the old train station and a hotel across the street. We talked about how these little towns were an important part of our early American History.

This was the ticket window, where one might purchase tickets for their train ride.

A replica of an old cabin...

The old fashioned water fountain outside the train station.

The water fountain area in front of the station, alongside the railroad tracks.

Since we were bummed out with our visit to the chocolate factory and this town is rich with history and fun touristy things to do, we continued our tour at the pretzel factory. Check back later for that blog post!

packing up...

We are going on a vacation... we are going on a vacation... we are going on a vacation..

Packing for a big family is a challenge. Actually I don't mind packing, it's the unpacking and the organizing away from home that drives me crazy.

I have to adjust the way I pack since I have two high maintenance kids. It takes sooo much room!

In the past I had each of the four older kids grab a back pack and pack one outfit per day, plus socks and underwear for each day.

I then packed a suitcase with clothes for myself and Nesiah, then I would pack a bag or two of supplies for everyone. It made for the least amount of luggage and no fighting over clothes etc.. at the destination.

However with 2 kids with lots of diapers, medical supplies and special feeding requirements I have to figure out a new plan.
Instead of several small bags, I packed all special formulas, medications, diapers, wipes, swim diapers, chucks pads, and medical supplies into a big tub. This I packed today...

As usual I made a list for each item that my kids need. However, instead of handing each child a list and a  backpack to pack, I am asking them to bring the items to me. I am going to try something new this year.

I will take one outfit per child per day and roll them up nicely and pack it in one plastic bag, repeat it 5 times  then throw them all into a large suitcase.That gives each person an outfit a day plus extra outfit for each child. (35 outfits if you are counting) I also pack extra pants for Nesiah, as she often goes through more then one pair a day. Pj's, swimsuits, and beach towels will get their own tote. Hopefully this new plan will make for less mess in the motel room and less hassle in loading and unloading the van.

I will also take a tote filled with special books, toys, baby dolls, gloves etc.. each child gets to take one special thing for camp and one thing for the ride there.

It is still tons of stuff, but it will hopefully be better organized then in the past! We do ahve the big van but it can be a challenge to pack things in around the wheelchair securement system and the carseats.