God has taken me on a journey this past week.. I don't particularly like the direction of this journey. But it has been good for me.
I am thankful that God has placed some good, strong Godly people in my life. People who are not afraid to speak truth, strong truth into my life.
The thing is, when you listen to the good, strong, Godly people in your life, it usually means God is doing something big.
The thing is, sometimes you get so caught up in doing everything right, living up to what you think people want from you, meeting goals you set for yourself that you forget that God doesn't expect you to do it on your own. That HE IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR POWER!
When we remember that God is the source of our power, we can be powerful warriors for the kingdom. We can do amazing things, because God is the source of our power. But when we strive to do things in our own power, we wear out, we burn out, we fail. (actually sometimes we fail when we do things in God's power because our failure is part of his making us who we are to be, to best serve him)
In the work that God has done in my heart has been two part. 1 is the reminder that God is my source of power. My ministry, my living, my parenting is NOTHING without God's power in me. When I allow my tank to become empty, when the daily grind of parenting, of serving, and the addiction of fb pulls me away from getting refilled by Jesus. When I forget to spend time plugged in to Jesus, when I don't read His love letters... I am empty, my source of power is gone. I am striving and failing to be who I am meant to be. I wear out. I burn out..
2. By drawing close to God, I have His power, His strength, His blessing, His discernment in my life. Which means my own life is not overwhelming.
It means that I am excited about parenting. It means that when that child throws the 500th tantrum, I am not running on empty, but am running with Holy Spirit Strength which allows me to pull out old parenting tricks from my extensive parenting toolbox. It means I am not frustrated by the child, I see it as a teaching moment. An oppurtunity to practice resting in what Jesus has for me in this season.
When homeschooling highschool wants to overwhelm me. When I sit down to make a schedule and I am not sure how I am going to do school for a 9th grader, 2-7th graders, a 5th grader, a very special needs 4th grader, and a very energetic toddler, I can ask God for His Power which will sustain me.
When ADHD, ODD, PTSD, food allergies, asthma, seizures, massive constipation, lyme disease, candida, genetic mental illness, and trauma behaviors crash in on my day, I can stand strong with His power.
When the bills come and the budget is stretched thin again and financial decisions have to be made,and I have been deceived and lost trust in all earthly advisors...I can trust that I have the very best Advisor who can see not only the momentary problems but the long term too. He promises to always provide and he does.
When I run into my first "daughter" and my heart stops....because I have not seen her in 5-6 years...and I want to be in her life... but I don't know how to balance boundaries with the love of Jesus. I can trust that He will give me wisdom.
The thing is.. God fills us with His Power and uses His people to fulfill His promises. When everything is crazy, he brings community.
He brings the produce place that has 3 baskets of peaches on sale, that arrive on the very day that a friend decides to drop off 4 baskets of peaches, the very day that another friend insists that when you are ready to do peaches she will help you. So you can do all 7 baskets of peaches on one day with the helping of an amazing friend.
God shows His power when He provides the most unlikely friend to provide free respite one day a week for your daughter with special needs. That same friend that isn't afraid to confront you when you are doing things on your own.
God shows His power when your sister sends you a box of dishrags, dishtowels and pot holders cause you are a tightwad and hate to spend money on such things... and every time you wash dishes you think about His blessings on you...
God shows His power when you get free horseback riding for 3 of your kids.. and your kids get to work on the farm.. and the farm brings deep healing to the soul of your broken children.. and you get to sit by the pond and breath in the beauty of the farm for 2 hours every week. which feeds your soul and you feel God's presence and His love.
God shows his power when you get a hair dresser that does your hair without charging, and shares how amazingly God has worked in her life and you are encouraged just by being in her presence.
God shows His power when you find a Super Hero Cape for your very challenging child and you can help him gain super powers by being kind and obedient... and he wants to wear the cape every single day.
God shows His power when everything is canceled for the day, by the 3 different people your children minister too.. which gives you a free day at home to schedule your homeschooling and get your life back under control. Which brings peace to your soul.
God shows His power when he blesses you with a neighbor friend that wants to walk 3 miles a day with you, which is so important for your mental and physical health... that calls you and talks on the phone with you, and listens to you vent and rant and rave...
God shows His power when he provides a neighbor dad, that has over the years gained your trust, fills out hunting licenses, teaches kids how to shoot guns/bows and takes them hunting and fishing and fills in the gaps in the lives of 13 yr old boys who don't have a dad.. and 12 yr old girls who don't trust men.. and 4 yr old boys that need someone to look up to.
God shows His power when he provides a Dr that works with your budget and your schedule and helps your child with anxiety.... and your children with lyme.. and your child with seizures..
So remember today, that when you rest in Jesus, He wil take care of everything. It doesn't mean that your life will be easy, painfree or stressfree. But it means that your life will be peaceful and you will get to see incredible miracles.