Friday, April 8, 2016

Happy 11th Anniversary..

The question remains...
How do you celebrate your 11th wedding anniversary when your husband is no longer living? You can't ignore the day. Nobody really gets why you want to celebrate the day. So it's the anniversary of one of the most amazing days of your life, but there is no right way to celebrate it.

Life has moved on. God has blessed me abundantly. I am living a life I could never have dreamed of. My children are an amazing blessing in my life. They bring me joy and chaos. But it is possible to be lonely and alone in the midst of many people.

I struggle to find the balance. God has blessed me so much, I don't have anything to complain about. But my heart aches. The desire to curl up under a blanket with a good book and block out the world is overwhelming. The desire to dream for hours, remembering what was and no longer is..
But is kinda hard to do that with 6 little people who need attention.. because we all know that a closed bedroom door means a crisis must happen.

God is good all the time. For tonight, I will allow myself to think of what it would be like. To have him here with me. To go to bed and have his arms wrapped around me. To him rejoice with me over the victories in life. To have him hold me when life is hard. To have him pick up the pieces when I lose it. To have his strength beside me on this journey through life...

Tomorrow I will get up and resume normal life. I will soldier on. I will lean on Jesus when I get lonely. I will read his Love Letter that strengthens and encourages me. I will rely on Jesus for my strength. He does not fail me. He will never leave me.

I am also going to enjoy some massive banana splits, made with all the goodies the kids and I picked up today.  These precious kids of mine, understand loss. They understand pain. We cry together and we heal together. Together tomorrow we will celebrate this special day. We will all miss this amazing man and talk about the what ifs.. Then we will tell our hearts to beat again.


Saturday, March 26, 2016

A little bit of life...

Life has been incredibly busy this spring! Lots of babies on the farm! Lots of fun and new exciting things happening! 
Our 4 momma goats had a total of 9 babies! We have had so incredibly much fun with these baby goats! 

This kid did so well this winter! He had one awful illness but no hospitalizations! 

Spring has sprung! Starting pumpkin seeds! 

Babies.. oh, so many babies.This is Freddy one of the triplets. 




Lee's momma bunny had.... 11 babies! 

This kiddoe loves goat milk and free range eggs. We are so excited to see him eating more! A friend has blessed us by making yogurt from our milk!

We did the usual homeschool testing for my 5th graders! They did well! 

My word for 2016 is "healthy".. 

The kids have joined me in the smoothie making! Everyone morning everyone gets one. 

Even the munchkin.. 

I have a whole pile more of baby goat pictures. The cuteness is never ending! Spring is def coming and going this year. Warm days, cold rainy days, warm days.. But I love it! 

Thursday, March 24, 2016


The other day Elizabeth says "mom, remember when we had 3 ft of snow? Now we can run barefoot!"
I just realized I never posted all these pictures!! 

The pregnant goaties presented quite the challenge. They each needed a safe pen. 

These two had a lot of fun inside and out! 

Lots and lots of hot tea! 

Baby Charlie..






Mustard and his ladies

Misty.. winter was hard on her. 

Snow storm fun... 

Prep in case the power goes off.. 

Headphones for the momma. 




This was def a storm to remember. But we never lost power. We stayed warm and cozy and all our animals stayed safe. We made lots of memories.